playdate gone bad

This will be short & sweet. I took Sayers to a friend's house for dinner last night. He dumped an entire carton of blue playdough into their fish bowl...causing the fish to go into cardiac arrest. And, chased their guinea pigs around their cage with their purple igloo house. That is all. Ciao for now!

Wicked Wednesdays

My Wednesdays are so great. I don't have any children from 9a - 2:30p. It's heaven. At 8a this morning I was already ready to get the 3 younger kids to school. We did our usual drive thru chick-fila where mommy gets her coke (sometimes MF gets her own, as well). I get my coke & pay. As I am about to drive off...Sayers yells at the guy at the window, "HEY I AM SEXY AND I KNOW IT"..........I just kind of laugh & drive off. We get to school. I am getting everyone out & I hear Sayers tell another mom, "Mary Frances is a BIMBO"...............I MEAN, REALLY??!!! Where does this kid come up with this stuff.

tik tok the EWHEELS version...

wake up in the morning feeling like p diddy (literally...because i used self tanner without gloves...so, i have black palms)
grab my glasses, hit the floor & smell a big sh*tty
before i get the wipes, brush my teeth with a bottle o' wine
'cause after a day in the life of me...i'd rather do time.

emma's doin' pedis on the boys toes toes
mommy would love some new clothes clothes
pottys' full of cell phones phones
drop-topping, eating our favorit, rice crispys
cleaning the sinks & potties
it's time for a mommy & me dance party

screwdrivers, toothbrushes & toys in the pot pot
sayers has another case of the trots trots
my husband is drinking beer & doing the robot bot
tick tock on the clock
but the mommy don't stop

mf ain't got a care in the world,
she's got plenty of cookies
got no money in my pocket, but at least i'm not snookie
and now, the kids are lining up cuz they hear mommy has swagger
gauge my eye balls out if i hear "i've got the moves like jagger"

kiddos all over the scene scene
sure they're goin poop or pee pee
i'm starting to feel a little bit BITCHY....

screwdrivers, toothbrushes & toys in the pot pot
sayers has another case of the trots trots
my husband is drinking beer & doing the roooobot bot
tick tock on the clock
but the mommy don't stop

i'm talking all of my kids want to eat junk junk
would anyone notice if i was locked in the trunk trunk?
wow...the smell...is that sayers or a skunk skunk?

Aint' got a care in the world, but I got plenty of fears
I'm lookin 'round the house, seems like nobody's here
I wander to the kitchen to get a glass of SB (sauvy blanc)
And I open up the fridge to a cup full of doodie

screwdrivers, toothbrushes & toys in the pot pot
sayers has another case of the trots trots
my husband is drinking beer & doing the roooobot bot
tick tock on the clock
but the mommy don't stop

i'm talking doo doo in his pants pants
lots of poo poo in the plants plants
i deserve a vaca to france......... france

This week's Top 5 things...

That suck:
5 - picking up soggy cheetos off wet bathroom tile
4 - underwear caked in doo doo
3 - picking up wet tampons that were used at rocket ships
2 - HAIR on anything other than one's body
1 - president's day = school holiday

That rock:
hmm....can't think of any

first post of 2012

It's been a LONG time since I have blogged. But, in the words of AC/DC " I am BACK IN BLAAAACK!" Everyone at our house has a name for their bottom. Emma - Stop talking about my bottom - bottom, Brown - Hamburger buns bottom, Sayers -Sloppy Joe bottom (oh so fitting), Mary Frances - Pink Piglet Bottom. I need to figure out a pole to name my bottom & Ford's. Will work on that next....I am sure it will have something to do with my "bottom leaves"...
On another note, all of the kids are in bed with Ford right now. I have heard the following,
Ford: - "Brown, stop trying to touch my weiner. Football players DO NOT touch other people's weiners."
Sayers - (bawling hysterically): "Mommy, Mary stuck a screwdriver in my eye."
Ford - "Are y'all gonna let Mary Frances date anyone?"
Sayers - "Where are my balls?"
I promise to be a better blogger!!! I am trying to get ELLEN DEGENERES to follow me!!!!!

I have been M.I.A...

...because we moved to Dallas from Austin last week. Just before embarking on our adventure, poor Sayers fell on my mom's shoe scraper & ended up at the ER for a lacerated scrotum. I can't make it up. 6 stitches & 7 hours later...we got on the road to Dallas. I have spent the last few days organizing & settling in. Our internet just got up & running today...so, I will be posting again soon! Ciao!

Dingle berry

Well, Sayers is at it again. I heard some yelling coming from my bedroom. I looked & Sayers had a giant doo doo hanging off his shorts. WHICH...Stoley, the dog, promptly ate.